“Fall: The Global Menace”

It creeps in slowly, earlier sunsets inching across the horizon. The leaves turn strange colors and fall to their demise, as if warning us of what’s to come. And then—without mercy—Fall Attacks!

Across the globe, pumpkin spice overruns coffee shops and the candy aisles stretch into chaotic battlegrounds. The horror is real. The squirrels? Definitely conspiring. It’s a scary movie—and we’re living in it.

But fear not! Enter the heroes of this autumnal apocalypse: us, the librarians! Armed with the latest databases and rare manuscripts containing every spell and potion, we navigate the chaos. We teach the masses how to survive every mysterious cough or sniffle, and execute the ultimate strategy for evading those schemin’ squirrels. Without us, the leaf piles would swallow the city, pumpkin spice would mutate the population, and the squirrels would reign supreme!

So if you hear the crunch of leaves behind you… don’t panic. It’s probably just nature setting the mood. Or a squirrel plotting your doom.

Stay brave, stay resourceful, and remember: fall’s terror may rage outside, but inside the library—with us leading the way—we will survive and thrive—together.

Yours in courage and caffeinated concoctions,

Matthew Cooper
CAHSLA President